This one will be the most evasive of all the backstories you will
read.  It's not out of a desire to be less than honest with you about
what caused me to write the song, it is that the subject matter is
very serious and tragic.  I fear that I would be trivializing the
suffering that a certain family endured by spilling all the details
on this page.

In March of 1999, I was still in the Army.  I was a paratrooper
squad leader in a very fast-moving outfit, 1/509th Airborne.    The
short of it is that we had been in an intense training operation for
several days with little or no sleep.  Many of us were operating
tactical motorcycles as part of our mission.  The time came to move
troops to an area out of a storm where they could get some rest for
the night.  I gave a young soldier a ride on my bike.  The
combination of the weather, lack of sleep and pervasive sense of
urgency led to a horrific crash, for which I was completely
responsible.  Specialist 4th Class Christopher Thomas "Tommy"
Cotter, my passenger, sustained terrible injuries the night of 11
March 1999 that eventually took his life two days later.  I had
made the most costly error in judgement a leader could make.  
One that would no doubt ultimately change the lives of many
people, not the least of which, the Cotter family.

When someone dies in circumstances like these, there is someone
to blame and that someone must be held accountable.  Fourteen
months after the accident, I stood trial by court-martial for
Negligent Homicide.  Despite my own feelings of guilt and utter
responsibility, the court declared that, though I did cause the
crash, there was no crime committed.  I was found not guilty of the
charges.  Accidents, they tell me, sometimes just happen.  Or
maybe it's that I was no more or less culpable than the rest of the
leaders in my unit.  That's not really for me to decide.  There is
nothing any court or judge can tell me that makes me feel less
responsible for what happened.

Bleed is the result of the tribulations that accompanied my trial
and subsequent acquittal.  As you can imagine, in the 14 months
from accident to court date, I was not a very well-loved person by
those closest to Tommy.  Of course, I cannot begrudge anyone's
feelings toward me, in fact, I join them in those feelings.  The
acquittal only fueled their anger as they then felt that injustice
had compounded their grief.  For me, there could be no absolution,
so in a way, I could understand their frustration.  But despite how I
have grieved for their loss, I could never begin to feel the pain of
having lost a child.  I can only live with the pain knowing that I  
am to blame.  
Bleed
Backstory